and I've been trading emails with a guy and he's sort of interested and sort of
reluctant, and I'm thinking he may be afraid to be seen in public with me:
this is me:
sigh, I wish, she is one of the prettiest transwomen in my book, I'm very
envious, but anyways this is me (I took this yesterday):
and I've told him I'm a size 18 and just over 6' in heels so he knows
what I look like and he's cool with that: I mean honestly for someone who's
been forced to live as a male for the past fifty years, and has been living as
a women maybe 20 hours per week for a mere 6 months, I actually look
pretty good. But regardless, I want to go out in public on a date, and I'm
thinking that being seen with me is what's scaring him off - I'm used to walking
around like this now, and I know I'm not passable, but I also know it really doesn't
matter -as long as you act like a lady, people should and generally will treat
you like a lady, but I can see why a straight guy might be worried how people
will react to me and to him, so anyways I really want to go on a date, and
he's the only guy who's interested in me enough to actually go on a date in real life,
but he's probably afraid to be seen with me, so I'm going to give it a day or two,
then email him and tell him it'd be OK if he rents a chick flick, and we watch
it on the sofa at his place - I just need to make it understood that I'm not going
to have sex - it's just a date, and that if we do start seeing each other he really
has to be willing to be seen with me in public - it was such a struggle for me to
go out in public, but hell if I'm with a guy people will think what ever they think
of me but if they think anything of the man I'm with, they'll just think he's bi,
which is like so what? seriously.
Actually the meal with mom went OK -I came out a few weeks ago and she's seen
me three or four times now dressed up, but we really haven't talked about it,
and I haven't been dressing up unless I go out -but I gave her a book about trans
people to read, and obviously the first question she had is am I going to have
the surgery -no, am I going to go on hormones...... (it's none of your
business what I told her, sorry) and I talked about the church and she's worried
about the risks, and I was honest and told her about two girls I know who've been
beaten up recently but I also talked about safe place to go and how accepting
the vast majority of sober, sane people are, and of course I talked about the
whole job situation and that mess and who I should come out to in the immediate
family, and I'll just go along with her here, because honestly I came out to her
all ready, and as long as I can get all dressed up when I walk out the door and
when I come back home, I really don't care who else knows, and when I
go full time or when I get a job and work as a man and go full time otherwise
everybody who knows me will know, which is fine
so Spring is in the air, and I'm fed up with being alone all the time, what can I say?
No comments:
Post a Comment