Saturday, March 31, 2012

It must be because it's Spring, but I really want to go on a date with a guy,
and I've been trading emails with a guy and he's sort of interested and sort of
reluctant, and I'm thinking he may be afraid to be seen in public with me:
oops wrong picture
this is me:

sigh, I wish, she is one of the prettiest transwomen in my book, I'm very
envious, but anyways this is me (I took this yesterday):

and he's seen the one picture of me

 and I've told him I'm a size 18 and just over 6' in heels so he knows
what I look like and he's cool with that: I mean honestly for someone who's
been forced to live as a male for the past fifty years, and has been living as
a women maybe 20 hours per week for a mere 6 months, I actually look
pretty good.  But regardless, I want to go out in public on a date, and I'm
thinking that being seen with me is what's scaring him off - I'm used to walking
around like this now, and I know I'm not passable, but I also know it really doesn't
matter -as long as you act like a lady, people should and generally will treat
you like a lady, but I can see why a straight guy might be worried how people
will react to me and to him, so anyways I really want to go on a date, and
he's the only guy who's interested in me enough to actually go on a date in real life,
but he's probably afraid to be seen with me, so I'm going to give it a day or two,
then email him and tell him it'd be OK if he rents a chick flick, and we watch
it on the sofa at his place  - I just need to make it understood that I'm not going
to have sex - it's just a date, and that if we do start seeing each other he really
has to be willing to be seen with me in public - it was such a struggle for me to
go out in public, but hell if I'm with a guy people will think what ever they think
of me but if they think anything of the man I'm with, they'll just think he's bi,
which is like so what? seriously.

Actually the meal with mom went OK -I came out a few weeks ago and she's seen
me three or four times now dressed up, but we really haven't talked about it,
and I haven't been dressing up unless I go out -but I gave her a book about trans
people to read, and obviously the first question she had is am I going to have
the surgery -no, am I going to go on hormones...... (it's none of your
business what I told her, sorry) and I talked about the church and she's worried
about the risks, and I was honest and told her about two girls I know who've been
beaten up recently but I also talked about safe place to go and how accepting
the vast majority of sober, sane people are, and of course I talked about the
whole job situation and that mess and who I should come out to in the immediate
family, and I'll just go along with her here, because honestly I came out to her
all ready, and as long as I can get all dressed up when I walk out the door and
when I come back home, I really don't care who else knows, and when I
go full time or when I get a job and work as a man and go full time otherwise
everybody who knows me will know, which is fine

so Spring is in the air, and I'm fed up with being alone all the time,  what can I say?

Friday, March 30, 2012

I tried to do a movie with an audio track of me playing my tin whistle but you can't
really hear anything  so I just did a screen grab of me playing at Lake of the Isles,
that was after the tour of the art studio - a meetup group for museum fans -it was
actually pretty interesting -so I went to the studio and got there early and was
sipping on a chai tea when I leaned back into a display stand and knocked a
ceramic mug on the floor, shattering it into a million pieces - of course I
helped clean up the mess then slipped quietly away to the art studio
(yes I did feel guilty)  -I was only out for about three hours - but I did
take some pictures, see some interesting artwork, walk around the lakes
and had several people smile at me -so it was kind of fun,
I;m back in drab, and my mom wants to talk to me about this stuff tonight,
ehh, yuck, but what can you do -I'm volunteering  at the church
tomorrow for  Bingo, and of course I'll be dressed up.

Thursday, March 29, 2012

I've been trading emails with a guy and he asked me if I was free tonight,
and if I'd gotten the email sooner, I would have been but I was practicing
with the band I'm in and dressed as a guy and all so Drat! Curses, foiled again!
I emailed  him back and said I was free Friday night, so hopefully I may go 
on a date tomorrow, which would be exciting, 
but if not I'm still going to get dressed up and go to a gallery opening in
downtown Minneapolis with a meetup group and that'll be exciting too,
and free.

otherwise, nothing new - band practice in guy mode was fun - I rode my
bike about 25 miles today and did some walking too.
I've got  an April 11 interview, but that's a ways off.

Wednesday, March 28, 2012

So I drove over in boy mode to St Paul and got a copy of the proof that my license
is current and valid and obviously I intend to fight the citation for driving with an
expired license - I got this proof  from the state of Minnesota and the state and
Hennepin county keep separate records I'm told -but the lady said she'd
made the correction to the county records too - it's all very frustrating
and the lady who picked me up and drove my truck says she's going to send
a letter to Metro Transit commending them for being professional and
curteous and generally pretty decent in their dealing with a trans person
(that would be me) , and they were other than my license
was valid, and I can prove it and that's frustrating, but they were just
doing their job and they were nice to me and I really appreciated
that, even though as I say the license was valid and there was no reason
the County and State records shouldn't have been the same, and it would
have saved a whole lot of hassle and frustration for everyone, including
me, and of course I'll get the citation thrown out -it's absurd.
 But they were nice to me and I was really thankful about that.

So I did some stuff then I got dolled up to go with a transwoman
friend and I was feeling in a bit more of a girly mood - I wanted to
chat it up a bit and act a little silly and smile a lot, so that was fun,
I wore a blue silk dress with black lace, a black wrap, black ankle length
boots with 4"  heels, and drove to the Guthrie to see "the Birds"
which was pretty intense, and I enjoyed it.
I'm trying to save money these days so I just drove home (sigh)
and now I'm back in boy mode., but it's fun to dress up and go see
a play -iso today started off kind of crappy, but ended up
a good day.

Drag #3

my dog jumps away from the window startled and scared
the mirror lies shattered, the plastic moulding
torn clean off from the door
I pull in front of the bus and park the truck

a lady pulls alongside and rolls down her window
"Are you OK?"
"I'm fine"
"was he pulling out?"
"no, no, he was stopped, I just hit him"
"that's a beautiful dog you have, you really need to 
keep her in back. if the airbag had gone off it would
have killed her I'm sorry but it's true'
the car slowly pulls away

I take the insurance card from the visor
and reach for my purse. 
I take my man's wallet
from my woman's purse  
and find my drivers license

I get out of the truck and walk over the the bus,
the door is closed
the glare on the window makes it hard to see into the bus
I walk over to the drivers window I walk back to the door
it's closed -I'm confused - not from the accident 
I was wearing a seat belt and only going 10 mph,
I'm confused from the aftermath - of what to do next and
from being in a skirt and stuff and from going around
smashing into buses with my truck like some crazy person,
and from a big white bus with it's doors and windows closed

I walk over to the mirror lying in the road and pick it up,
I'm not worried about looking delicate,
I pick up the stupid mirror, walk back 
and dump it uncerimoniously  it in the bed of the pickup 
I walk back to the bus, 
the bus door is open

On the bus I give my license and insurance card to the driver
he calls in that he's been in an accident 
then we have to wait
it's procedure

soon the 7 or 8 people on the bus are antsy,
"let's go!" someone says 
"we have to wait" the driver says
"there'll be another bus coming along" 
"if you want to take that"
he opens the doors
the people walk off the bus
walk past me 
the crazy guy in a dress
and wait for the next bus to come along
it arrives shortly afterwards

"It was good that the people got off, they won't
claim whiplash" he explains, "these things
happen" he says seeing how nervous I am
we wait and talk a little and wait

I find out that he sees about two or three trans people
a day on his routes - I find that interesting
to each his own is his philosophy on that
we wait

The Metro Transit Police arrive and take my information
they take pictures, fill out reports
They're nice to me but official
The supervisor arrives
and he takes pictures
of the rear view mirror
of the black scuffed dent
in the rear of the big white bus

they give me an accident report
and a citation for an expired license
I can't move the truck
someone has to come and get it 
or they'll tow it away

It can't be expired, because it isn't 
it was a snafu last time I went to 
get my license renewed but it's all
straightened out I have the letters at home
nobody believes me
but it's true 
but it doesn't matter 
I panic,
my parents don't drive, 
I don't have any friends
they're going to tow the truck
and I don't have any money to pay for that
I want to die
what a disaster

I go sit in the truck
with my dog

I remember my cell phone and tell them
there might be somebody I could call
I call a woman friend (who is trans) 
She has been supportive in the past, 
but we've drifted apart, 
we're still friendly,
but it feels like we've drifted apart, 
and I don't really go around asking for help
it's so awkward
and all
I'm pretty much a loner
and being isolated is how I get by
I just take it for granted
you don't ask for favors from people

but what else can I do
I call and she answers, she'll come pick me up
"Thanks" I say

I wait in the truck
and pat my dog
and play my dulcimer
and play my harmonica
and wait, 

I'm playing my harmonica 
with the door open,
the dog on a leash tied to the door
sitting on the sidewalk
Somehow I don't feel very sexy right now,
but I give her kiss on the cheek
(later, she's mad at me for being so cold,
what can I say? nothing, thanks, I'm sorry
nothing - I don't go around asking people for 
help, really, and all I really wanted right then was to
just get out of there

An officer gives her the keys,
I get in the passenger side,
she gets in the drivers side, starts the truck
and drives away.

Tuesday, March 27, 2012

What a nightmare, I'm coming back from a really nice day,
and I hit a city bus with my truck -nobody was hurt and
the damage was minimal but, what a mess -so it is possible
to have a bad day in drag

I've been dressed up all day -I went to a Job Fair and made
some good contacts, dropped off some resumes had a very
fun and possibly productive morning then I went over to the
Church and changed out of by business skirt into what I
was jokingly calling my "bad luck outfit" -because it was the
same blouse and jean skirt I'd worn to the St Patrick's Day
parade and was really treated rudely by several drunks-
anyways I talked to a guy there a bit then did my boiler thing
and then went over to a trans friendly coffee shop, sat outside
with my dog and had a good turkey and cheese sandwich
for lunch.  then I went over to Lake Calhoun and walked around
lake (about 3 miles) and my feet were a little sore(I was wearing
boots with low heels) but with one stop I made it around and talked
to a couple guys and smiled at a couple girls and everyone was
really nice to me so I decided to take the dulcimer out of the
truck and sit on a bench and play it a bit, and I did and after
about a half hour or so I decided it was time to go home,

I'm driving along in Edina and I get stuck behind a bus, but I'm in
no hurry, so the Bus pulls over and stops so I steer to the right
to go around him and with oncoming traffic, it's tight, but it
really shouldn't have been a problem but today it was,
SMASH goes my passenger side mirror -it's a big
truck mirror that sticks out about a foot - and I tore it
clean off - I pulled over and got out and got on the
bus an exchanged information - the driver was pretty
decent about it but he had to call it in because that was
the procedure -so we wait for the Metro Transit police
to arrive and the passengers get tired of waiting and
hop on the next bus - so I'm talking to the bus driver
about how many trans people he sees per day (two
or three per day was his estimate) and other general
conversational stuff and finally the Transit Police arrive
and they take all the information and write a report,
and it's all not all that big a deal until they tell me that
my License is expired and that I can't drive my truck
and they are either going to tow it or someone has to
come and drive it, so I panic at first and generally
freak out and finally I think of calling a woman
friend of mine, and she drives over and drives
the truck away.  So I've got a citation for an expired
license -it's really not expired but I'll have to take care
of it tomorrow ( actually I wrote about the whole
prior incident in trans-honey about a year ago I think
-essentially I renewed my license but there was a paper
work snafu regarding a driving course I took instead
of going to court -they lost the record that I attended-then
they found it-and I have written documents of all this)
So anyways the whole time all this is going on, I'm
wearing my skirt and heels and wig and makeup and
all and going "yes I'll go get my license, it's in my purse"
and all that and it really wasn't fun, it kind of sucked
but I'm home and I'm back in boy clothes and I called
the insurance agent, and I found the paperwork to show
I have (or should have) a valid license, but what a crappy
day.  Oh and the woman who picked me up, is mad at me
now for being a jerk to her when she picked me up, and my
mom was there at home when I walked in, in my skirt and all
(she's seen me in drag at least once before, since I came out to
her, but I've been trying to avoid her seeing me dressed up -
I don't think she really realizes how much I do this stuff)
anyways - the damage done:
1 truck mirror smashed
1 accident on my insurance
1 citation for no license -which I should be able to get out of
1 pissed off friend
1 semi-embarrassing moment with mom

what a mess, but I'm fine, my dog's fine -I should still be able to
dress up tomorrow night for the play -after I drive over to the
take care of the License nonsense -it really isn't expired,so
I'm not breaking the law -seriously
I just have to be careful changing
lanes without the mirror - but what a mess, anyways yuck....

Monday, March 26, 2012

I'm going to another Job Fair tomorrow, so I had to sew up a seam on the shoulder
of my pink jacket -yeah same outfit, the one I got at Macy's - a pink top, black
skirt, black boots, no purse, no nail polish and daytime makeup.  These Job
Fairs have been kind of fun so far - I want to go early because I may have an
afternoon interview in boy mode.
So anyways while I was sewing, I also was washing my lingerie, and watching
a DVD of Marley and me and I got all choked up during the
scene where Jennifer Aniston finds out that the baby she's carrying doesn't have a
heartbeat, which is not normally something that would make me cry like that,
and certainly doesn't apply to my situation in the slightest, but it was a sad scene,
and of course when Marley dies, well that's pretty sad too, so I got some
crying out of my system today.

I mentioned my attempt to meet a guy online for a date. This experiment has
come to an end it looks like - the experiment has one scientific result:
"Guys are Idiots"
seriously, I want to wait a day or two to be sure, then I'll post the emails
between us and I'm sure you will agree that guys are idiots -I'm not
even going to try dating guys any more -so I'm officially straight, except
when I'm in drag then I'm sort of like a Lesbian,

So Job Fair tomorrow, and maybe take my dog for a walk, unless I get
an interview - I'll go dressed as a man to that interview,

Then Wednesday I'm going en femme to a play at the Guthrie with
a transwoman friend so that'll be fun, but no drag contest for me this week

Saturday I'm volunteering at the church for selling tickets for Bingo,
and I get to be a girl and sell tickets, yeah!

Sunday dressing up for church and then shopping (but not buying -I
really can't afford to buy anything right now)

then back to guy mode on Monday

Sunday, March 25, 2012

So quickly - I wore a black skirt and jacket and a gold silk blouse,
low cut black boots with 4" heels.  I went to church, the service
was good, chatted a bit afterwards with some other girls,
stopped at the coffee house but it looks like the guy I was
playing some music with has gone elsewhere, and I'm a bit
too shy to do solo stuff, so I went over to Como Park and
walked around the zoo and conservatory, and that was
fun -I was feeling sort of pretty today - and after that I
drove to Lake Como and sat on a blanket and played my
dulcimer - then I went home and took off my makeup
and I'm back in drab, so a nice day right, but OK
here's some further evidence that I might be crazy
or straight or both - I'm walking into the service and
a guy comes up to me and introduces himself, and he
seems nice enough and kind of extra friendly, so I'm
telling him my name and saying hi, then I notice a fellow
trans person I know so instead of chatting up the guy, I
walk over and talk to the girl and then go downstairs and
do my volunteer boiler thing, I'm downstairs in the boiler
room when it hits me that the guy might have been being
friendly with me because he might have been actually
interested in me (I just take it for granted that no one
at my gay church is interested in me in that way)
OK it gets worse -so I'm over at the Como Park
Conservatory and a guy is talking to me, and I
come up with the line that sounded more negative
than I meant, and he took it as negative and it wasn't
but he took it as negative and walked away.
Certainly I wasn't smiling and flirting that
way I was sort of acting like me, only in a pretty
skirt, but I can see why he's thinking some guy in a skirt
and 4" heels should act like some flirty bimbo girl, and be
a little frustrated that I acted like some somewhat
masculine trans person,
OK it gets worse still, so I'm playing my dulcimer
and a guy comes up and asks if it's OK to sit and
listen and I say sure, and he sits down and I have the
dulcimer on my lap and he looks nice and all and seems
like a decent guy, clean shaven, handsome, a bit of an
eastern European accent, so OK I'm still new to the dulcimer
and I really have to concentrate to play, but I'm so focused
on playing that I ignore the guy while I'm playing and I can't
think of anything to say in between songs, so he get's up
after a couple songs and walks away, and it's like
I dunno, am I crazy? I mean some guy shows some interest in
me and I get all shy and quiet and look at my hands and stuff,
and it's like seriously -I don't get what I was thinking......
I mean guys never hit on me, well almost never, and now
a guy does, I mess it up like that -like I said I must be straight
or crazy or both,

Anyways despite my conviction that I probably am both straight
and crazy, there's a guy I'm trading emails with who may be
asking me out on a date - so I'll let you know how I manage to
screw this one up.

Saturday, March 24, 2012

 That would be me, in my black skirt and jacket and black boots
reflected off the very pretty dark blue fabric fuselage of a trimotor
at Golden Wings.  I went to a meetup event for Museum fans -
it was about 40 straight people, but I did know one person -
and we broke up into small groups of  5 or 6 and then volunteers
walked through and went over the planes and answered our questions,
and it was a lot of fun, and everyone was really nice to me, and not
one person said anything about me wearing a skirt or was in the slightest
anything but nice to me - and like I said yesterday - I have a pilots license
and I just love touring air museums and such, so I had a wonderful; time,

however I had my dog in the truck and I was in there a bit longer than I'd
planned, so she didn't have a wonderful time (it was a nice cool day, the
windows were open she had water -it was not a Romney moment -she
was just bored while I was having fun ) So to make it up to her, I went
for a walk around Lake Calhoun (about 3 miles) still wearing the same
outfit, and a few people thought my dog was really cute - OK I was hoping
some guy would hit on me -I'll admit it, but even though that didn't happen it
was a very pleasant walk and my feet didn't hurt too bad with the 2.5" heels,

But I had to do some things in drab, so I'm back to boy mode again.
I might wear the same outfit tomorrow to church, so ssshhhh -
don't tell anyone.

It's really nice when you walk up to a group of everyday people in your
skirt and your all nervous and stuff, and you look around and realize
there's really nothing to be nervous about -

I should talk about the museum because it really is amazing and it's not open
to the public except the First weekend in June at the Anoka Airport in Blaine
The Golden Wings Museum is unique in the world for the number of trimotors
in one hanger and for it's rare planes from the 20's and 30's so if you are in
the Twin Cities 1st week of June you really should check it out -you will never
see anything like it - it's a wonderful museum -here; a few of the many, many
pictures I took:

PS -aparrantly if you use the search term in Google
"stupid pictures with captions" you will be directed to a Transformative
Honeymoons page - I'm so proud

Friday, March 23, 2012

I used to have a web page that was exclusively for Aviation photography  -
I actually have a Single Engine Land, Single Engine Sea, and Glider ratings
on my Pilot's License along with a hang glider I had flown a few hundred
times. Up until about two years ago when I decided to that I was going to
take that big gamble and see if I could somehow transition, aviation was
one of the few "good" things in a life that in general was pretty bleak -
of course I haven't flown in a few years now and my medical has lapsed,
and I really don;t ever expect to fly again, because the economic situation
for people like me is pretty bleak, but I accepted that going in and I'm really
not griping, I'm just saying I'm really into aviation - or at least I was
and there's a local "museum" that is only open a few days per year.
Saturday morning it's open for this meetup group I joined as Stacy,
and told them I go in drag, and nobody said anything so...
yeah!!!!! my first Aviation museum en femme!!

I'm trying for the super dork space cadet effect here, am I succeeding?

seriously as a teenager I had a fantasy that I was married to a handsome
rich guy and I got to wear really tight pants suits and fly Pitts Specials
with my girlfriends until my husband came home -then I had to change into
a black evening gown (strapless, lots of DD size cleavage, diamond necklace
opera gloves, you get the picture) meet him at the door, kiss him,  serve him
dinner - and then get laid of course - I was a very strange young man

anyways I'm going to a very good aviation museum Saturday morning and I'm
wearing a nice skirt and blouse and bringing my camera along to take pictures
of airplanes, because I really like old planes  -afterwards I think I'll walk my
dog around the lakes still wearing my skirt, of course, and then find a nice place
 to sit and play my dulcimer because let's face it I'm a very strange old man

Thursday, March 22, 2012

The Job Fair was really wonderful -I totally recommend that
early stage trans women (at least in gay cities like Minneapolis)
get dressed up in something nice and professional looking
(I wear a black skirt and subtly pink jacket, black boots with
2.5" heels, no purse, no nail polish and full "daytime" makeup)
and go to a job fair if you are out of work. I do not pass, but
I obviously am presenting myself as very feminine, but not one
person brought up anything regarding being trans, or gay or
that I was wearing women's clothing or anything.  Of course
they are trained to avoid bringing up things which may seem
discriminatory -like race, age, sex, but that extends in Minnesota
to sexual orientation and apparantly non-conforming gender
 identification.  Which means they are not going to talk about it
if you don't - and as a trans women  (well hopefully someday)
I  really need to learn how to present oneself as a person first,
and talk to people about my skills and education and prior job history
without mentioning my gender issues or my emotional issues or any
of that stuff that really has nothing to do with anything if I am going to
function as a valuable member of a company (except at Lunch when
I am, going to totally talk about the cute dress I bought at Macy's the
last time I went to the Mall, or whatever)

So this is the third Job Fair I've gone dressed up to, and besides leaving some
resumes with representatives for four companies that I had some skills
to offer, I also signed up for the free resume critique (and a very nice lady
helped me develop an objective section which I will incorporate into
my resume - she spent about 20 minutes with me and was very helpful
and very nice.
Then I did a mock interview and that seemed like it was about forty minutes,
and I was a little nervous ( and felt a little drained afterwards) - but she
was exceptionally skilled, it's just I'm a very shy person and add to that
I'm in a skirt and it's tough for me. I've made really amazing strides and do
present a lot of confidence and am very much at ease in a social situation
when I can just present myself the way I see myself, but now I am competing
against cis-women and cis-men who aren't even shy so it's hard work, but
luckily for me, I feel better about myself presenting this way then when I
am presenting as a man, so I project more confidence and socialize much
better - but I still need to make improvements and in the real world there
is the 300 pound gorilla in the room that no one is mentioning -so yeah,
one has to interview really well to have any chance or they'll pick a cis-person.
So what did she offer as feedback - be very careful to not say anything that
could even be misinterpreted as being a criticism of a past employer - for instance
I was being given too many jobs to effectively handle - I phrased this in a way that
sounded like I was being critical of the company, she stopped me, we talked about
what had happened, I brought up that as much as I liked the job, that many jobs was
preventing me from giving the homeowners the time to the job I wanted to do
because I had to rush off to the next job to meet the schedule - so I went back and
rephrased my answer to emphasize my desire for customer satisfaction rather
than a perceived criticism of 12 hour days without breaks (because honestly it
was not the 12 hour days, it was the feeling that I really wanted to meet the
customers expectations but the schedule made that impossible) but OK
so the interview continues I stumble on a question that is very general but
asks for a specific example of a generalized principle -I have problems with
questions like that -I tend to answer generalized questions with generalized
answers.  We went over  the question a bit and she talked with me and
 did come up with a specific example to illustrate a point, and it was an
excellent example but this is a weakness for me in an interview, and I'm
going to start preparing some answers to questions like these - so again
very valuable and she was really good at helping me out - but oh it
was kind of tiring honestly , but we got through the mock interview,
and then she went over the critique and mentioned things like how
my eye contact was not bad but I really need to make a point of
almost constantly maintaining eye contact, and that sometimes the
volume of my voice trails off as my conversation continues,
and that I have to avoid some nervous habits with my hands, stuff
like that, things that any person on an interview needs to master if they
want to land a professional job , and afterwards she asked if she
could keep a copy of my resume, and of course I said yes, so who
knows, maybe it was a real interview...  But it was very helpful,
and I walked out of the Convention Center feeling very good
about it in a tired sort of way.

Anyways afterwards I went over to the church and did the boiler thing
changed in a different skirt and went to a Trans Support group meeting,
then went over to the Townhouse for a drink (I had about an hour and half
to kill before the drag contest -but it was so pretty dead so I just had a beer
and drove back to Minneapolis).

The Drag contest had 4 girls this week, including myself and I didn't win
(sigh) but it was fun and I wore a couple pretty outfits, and I got to talk
with the other contestants, but the people in the bar didn't interact with
me at all, so ehhh, that's kind of frustrating -usually it's women I talk to and
it was more of a mens crowd, and men just don't approach me, and of course
I don't approach men (not that I  have anything against men as the the caption says)
but it was fun and on the positive front - I offered another contestant a ride
home, and so I wound up talking about my interest in starting a drag band
and they have been in a band and know other drag performers who also
play guitar and stuff, so hopefully I can start making some progress on this.

Tuesday, March 20, 2012

here are a couple recordings I just did of me playing harmonica,
If you are interested in starting up a Drag band, or if you have a
band and think a drag queen playing harmonica would help your
act  (and I have no idea why you'd think that), this is what I sound like:

So I'm going to dress up for a Job Fair tomorrow (my third job fair en femme).
I had to sew a rip in the jacket this evening and I've been working out a lot
lately because I've decided that it is much, much too dangerous to be as
obviously masculine bodied as I am (I don't mean to say I'm unattractive,
just that it's pretty easy to identify me as being male-bodied) so I've been
working out and dieting and I've lost 5 pounds since Saturday -obviously I
won't keep up that pace, but I do plan on losing another 50# (I lost
50# last year to get to my current wight) I'll probably go over to the lakes
after the Job Fair and practice my dulcimer, go to the Church and do my
volunteer boiler thing, go to the trans support group (or maybe not -
I don't want to talk about St Patrick's day yet, so I'm not sure -if I
go I'll then do the amateur drag contest, but if I don't go to the support
group I won't, I really haven't decided)

I'n  reading "Whipping Girl" which is a really good book about a trans woman's
view on a lot of issues related to trans women - so it's really good and
very informative, so far.

So hopefully thing go well and I stay safe tommorrow