I go to my new gender therapist tommorrow.
I went 4 times to last my gender therapist, and it
really screwed me up - but I started going to
my gay church and ultimately started dressing
up and dressing up and going out in public,
joined my church, met many people, been
seeing a therapisit about coming out as gay
(it was always understood that I didn't want
to cover the trans-stuff until I was on more
stable ground), finished tech school and
started a new job, lost 50 pounds, and
probably more.
The big thing is if I can get done with work
early enough I can get dressed up and drive
to his office and show up and he'll see immediately
that this is who I am comfortable being, and if
I can't get done with work early enough I will
walk in in my work clothes and still be comfortable
enough in boy mode to talk about how I've been living
and how good I feel about going out in public
and being myself and meeting people and trying
to live my life this way as much as I can, and I just
need to be honest about how I feel about myself
and who I need to be to make my future work,
but yeh I'm kind of nervous, and last time was
such a disaster but so much has changed -there
is so much that I take for granted now that would
have been impossible back then -it really is
different this time - I pray this works out.
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