How to Survive a Blizzard,
by Samantha1
So last night and going into sometime this weekend, up here in Minnesota,
we’re being hit with a major blizzard, and I thought, as a
PSA (Public Service Announcement) I’d give some an actual description of
How to Survive a Blizzard, in case you ever find yourself in similar
circumstances.
we’re being hit with a major blizzard, and I thought, as a
PSA (Public Service Announcement) I’d give some an actual description of
How to Survive a Blizzard, in case you ever find yourself in similar
circumstances.
So of course, the first step is to dress really warm –I’m talking long johns,
jeans, two pairs of sox, hiking boots, a shirt, a light down windbreaker,
the Pillsbury Doughboy snowpants (it’s like an insulated one-piece overalls
you wear over your pants and coat –and yes you look really, really fat in it,
but so does everybody else), then a winter coat you wear over this, a good
warm hat, warm gloves, and of course sunglasses (I’ll talk more about
sunglasses later).
jeans, two pairs of sox, hiking boots, a shirt, a light down windbreaker,
the Pillsbury Doughboy snowpants (it’s like an insulated one-piece overalls
you wear over your pants and coat –and yes you look really, really fat in it,
but so does everybody else), then a winter coat you wear over this, a good
warm hat, warm gloves, and of course sunglasses (I’ll talk more about
sunglasses later).
You are now ready to venture outside.
Take a walk around the house. Make sure no tree is about to crash through
the roof or anything. Everything is Cool? Good, now you have to shovel or
snow blow the driveway. Either way you are going to get very wet from the
snow, you are going to work up a sweat from the physical effort, and the
wind and cold and wetness can cause frostbite –but you are dressed for it –
take your time, look around, it really is kind of pretty. Watch your stupid dog
frolic in the snow because she’s too dumb to realize she’s in a blizzard.
Remember you are not going anywhere until they plow the streets, and driving
anywhere right now is a very high risk activity. So I 'll say it again, take your
time. Nice and steady. In an hour or so you’ve got the driveway open – you
can get out if you have to but don’t, take a walk instead.
the roof or anything. Everything is Cool? Good, now you have to shovel or
snow blow the driveway. Either way you are going to get very wet from the
snow, you are going to work up a sweat from the physical effort, and the
wind and cold and wetness can cause frostbite –but you are dressed for it –
take your time, look around, it really is kind of pretty. Watch your stupid dog
frolic in the snow because she’s too dumb to realize she’s in a blizzard.
Remember you are not going anywhere until they plow the streets, and driving
anywhere right now is a very high risk activity. So I 'll say it again, take your
time. Nice and steady. In an hour or so you’ve got the driveway open – you
can get out if you have to but don’t, take a walk instead.
Get your stupid dog (who still hasn’t figure out a Blizzard is serious business)
and take a walk around. There will be some guys out blowing their driveways.
Smile, wave, say Hi, say the dumbest thing you can come up with like:
“Boy, it sure did snow a lot!”
and take a walk around. There will be some guys out blowing their driveways.
Smile, wave, say Hi, say the dumbest thing you can come up with like:
“Boy, it sure did snow a lot!”
it’s OK, you’re walking your dog in a freaking blizzard ,
They know you’re not Albert Einstein.
They know you’re not Albert Einstein.
Walk a couple blocks to the local convenience store. Get a saugage and
cheese croissant (yeh the dog is going to get more of it than I will) get a
hot chai tea latte (mmm, not real Chai Tea (MMM!!!) but still mmm) look
at the sunglasses, try out a couple pairs. Pick something nice, check that
it doesn’t say “tres-girly” or something that would make it too embarrassing
to wear, but no, these are just nice, they flatter my face. So go pay for it.
Talk to the Cashier about the snow. She’s not rushed today, no ones around,
so she talks about the sunglasses. She thinks they look nice too. You talk
about how you are always breaking yours, she talks about a really nice pair
she got from her mom and then lost (sigh)-she seems like a really nice person,
but it’s back to the blizzard for me, and I feed my puppy my croissant, sip
from the snow covered lid of my warm Chai Tea (mmm, OK, under the
circumstances MMM!!!) pick up my dog’s poop in a plastic bag and stick it in
my coat pocket. I Smile and wave to a guy on the way back, wearing my
new $12.99 (but not cheap) sunglasses (oh, very nice!)
and walk back home, where I am going to hole up in my room
for a good long spell.
cheese croissant (yeh the dog is going to get more of it than I will) get a
hot chai tea latte (mmm, not real Chai Tea (MMM!!!) but still mmm) look
at the sunglasses, try out a couple pairs. Pick something nice, check that
it doesn’t say “tres-girly” or something that would make it too embarrassing
to wear, but no, these are just nice, they flatter my face. So go pay for it.
Talk to the Cashier about the snow. She’s not rushed today, no ones around,
so she talks about the sunglasses. She thinks they look nice too. You talk
about how you are always breaking yours, she talks about a really nice pair
she got from her mom and then lost (sigh)-she seems like a really nice person,
but it’s back to the blizzard for me, and I feed my puppy my croissant, sip
from the snow covered lid of my warm Chai Tea (mmm, OK, under the
circumstances MMM!!!) pick up my dog’s poop in a plastic bag and stick it in
my coat pocket. I Smile and wave to a guy on the way back, wearing my
new $12.99 (but not cheap) sunglasses (oh, very nice!)
and walk back home, where I am going to hole up in my room
for a good long spell.
And that is how to survive a blizzard, it’s really not as bad as it may sound.
PS -I just wrote this this morning, and I'm kind of proud of it - sorry there's
no captions, but next time, I make up for that.
no captions, but next time, I make up for that.
First things first then I will get to the other stuff. you took the bag of poop out of your pocket once you were home right? you don't want to check your pockets and get a nice surprise a little later. eww...
ReplyDeleteAnd about the "bot it sure did snow a lot" line. I've said some really stupid stuff during certain events that I just wish I could go home and call it a day. like at a funeral when everyone in the room starts to leave, don't say "boy, this room sure died, didn't it?"
I could hear my self saying it, but I couldn't stop my self. ugh..
also, I've wore some awful things during winter. but nothing tops the year I only had a pair of shorts, t-shirt, and a long leather duster... it was horrible looking! Dang washer was busted so I had to do what I had to do. and yeah, it looked stupid, but the duster was really really warm. ^_^
And sounds like a really nice pair of shades. ^_^ what color?
I made the poop mistake once, even tied
ReplyDeleteup in a plastic bag, that's not a mistake
you make a second time!
Heaven's! I'd be hard pressed to
top yours though - I shouldn't be laughing,
forgive me, those are tears of "sympathy"
rolling down my cheeks.
The sunglasses are just black frame, dark
lenses nothing special, they're just nice,
and they're my "Blizzard" glasses so that
makes them nicer.
I was wearing them around today walking
the dog, going to the gym, grocery shopping. The Blizzard is over, now it's just plain cold.