I was over at Laura's Playground which is a very good site,
but I haven't been on the site in several months, so I
made this post this afternoon, just to kind of reconnect
to one of the more useful sites on the web, but it's kind
of nice sometimes to look back and see that I've actually
had a really wonderful time since I started dressing up
and going out in public (back in October), well here's the post:
I thought I'd try and reconnect with this site a bit - last time I was
posting was at the end of October (when I first started going
out publicly dressed up(and had gone out 9 times in about
2 weeks) -so I'm actually not going out 4 times a week dressed up
(I don't have the money to afford going out that much - I lost
my job a couple weeks ago) but I joined a gay church, volunteer
as their bolier operator and attend service dressed up, I actually
got to play my harmonica doing the song Amazing Grace, with the
church's music director playing piano during an offeratory one
Sunday -that was kind of amazing (if you pardon the pun) me in a
pretty brown suede leather skirt and matching boots (with 4" heels)
and a red blouse, it felt good and the congregation really liked it,
anyways most Sundays I talk to a few people after service,
then head over to a coffee shop and play my harmonica with
a guy I met a few weeks ago (he's straight and has a fiancee so
it's not like that) There's a wednesday night trans support group
that meets in the same building as ths coffee house _I've been
going to that, and afterwards doing my volunteer boiler thing
over at the church then heading over to a gay bar where I enter
a drag contest (mainly so I can get up and play my harmonica
and wear evening gowns and pretty dresses of course) so when
Im at the trans support group, and they ask about pronouns
I normally joke that I'm doing drag tonight so I better go with he
- but actually I'm pretty close to 100% confidant "he"
doesn't fit, I don't mind she, but it feels a little strained or
awkward or funny, but then I never really spent any time
being called a she or a her either, it's OK I know whenI started
seeing a gender therapist and we started working on the letter
that I wanted no ambiguity there - I want them to refer to me as
she- when it comes to the legal issues, the dealing with authority
and doctors and all that , it's simple I wanted to be treated as a
woman, at least as far as its allowed, but face to face,
person to person, it's confusing - I got the letter a couple days
ago, but I can't afford to go on hormones now and oddly
enough I'm not quite ready somehow (and I was telling my
therapist this was going to happen) but when I lost my job,
(the contract ended) I did come out to my mom that I was
trans, gay, and unemployed. I live at home, and the idea of
going backwards was too horrible, but since then she's seen
me dressed up once, but I don't dress up unless Im going
out honestly, and I'm only going out 2 or 3 days a week now,
so I'm going out occasionally, playing my music, and
looking for a job (I actually did go to a job fair last week wearing
a skirt and jacket, it went suprisingly well) anyways like I said
so I'm trying to recconnect a bit here and do some on-line job
hunting too, so later,
Stacy
posting was at the end of October (when I first started going
out publicly dressed up(and had gone out 9 times in about
2 weeks) -so I'm actually not going out 4 times a week dressed up
(I don't have the money to afford going out that much - I lost
my job a couple weeks ago) but I joined a gay church, volunteer
as their bolier operator and attend service dressed up, I actually
got to play my harmonica doing the song Amazing Grace, with the
church's music director playing piano during an offeratory one
Sunday -that was kind of amazing (if you pardon the pun) me in a
pretty brown suede leather skirt and matching boots (with 4" heels)
and a red blouse, it felt good and the congregation really liked it,
anyways most Sundays I talk to a few people after service,
then head over to a coffee shop and play my harmonica with
a guy I met a few weeks ago (he's straight and has a fiancee so
it's not like that) There's a wednesday night trans support group
that meets in the same building as ths coffee house _I've been
going to that, and afterwards doing my volunteer boiler thing
over at the church then heading over to a gay bar where I enter
a drag contest (mainly so I can get up and play my harmonica
and wear evening gowns and pretty dresses of course) so when
Im at the trans support group, and they ask about pronouns
I normally joke that I'm doing drag tonight so I better go with he
- but actually I'm pretty close to 100% confidant "he"
doesn't fit, I don't mind she, but it feels a little strained or
awkward or funny, but then I never really spent any time
being called a she or a her either, it's OK I know whenI started
seeing a gender therapist and we started working on the letter
that I wanted no ambiguity there - I want them to refer to me as
she- when it comes to the legal issues, the dealing with authority
and doctors and all that , it's simple I wanted to be treated as a
woman, at least as far as its allowed, but face to face,
person to person, it's confusing - I got the letter a couple days
ago, but I can't afford to go on hormones now and oddly
enough I'm not quite ready somehow (and I was telling my
therapist this was going to happen) but when I lost my job,
(the contract ended) I did come out to my mom that I was
trans, gay, and unemployed. I live at home, and the idea of
going backwards was too horrible, but since then she's seen
me dressed up once, but I don't dress up unless Im going
out honestly, and I'm only going out 2 or 3 days a week now,
so I'm going out occasionally, playing my music, and
looking for a job (I actually did go to a job fair last week wearing
a skirt and jacket, it went suprisingly well) anyways like I said
so I'm trying to recconnect a bit here and do some on-line job
hunting too, so later,
Stacy
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