The date didn't go off very well. As I was getting ready I was feeling really
fat, and I tried on a few things and every thing made me look fat, so I
put on a black dress with some gold trim that I'd worn at the bar before,
but as my date said later that night the dress made me look old, which
it did, but yeh, it was that kind of night.
I felt really tired driving over but I didn't want to cancel and make it seem like
I wasn't interested and I thought I'd perk up when I got to the bar which
I did but I wasn't very talkative, and we sat there and watched the
girls perform (it was the Amateur drag night -that I'd been competing
in and I thought it'd be fun just go and watch - but it made me feel
old and fat and not very feminine looking and not very outgoing or
interesting, and yeh like I said it was that kind of night) so eventually
my date got up to leave and so I drove her back home, talked a little in
the car, but it was kind of measured talk, dropped her off at the door
after a kiss in the car, but 'I wasn't feeling romantic, and it's frustrating
I go on a date, finally, with someone I really like and care for, and
it just unravels like that. I don't know what to make of that.
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