Transformative Honeymoons

So I kissed a guy Saturday, joined my Gay church Sunday,
and went spent the whole day Sunday out in public and this
whole weekend was wonderful and just exhausting. 

So here we go.  I got a couple dresses a few days ago in
the mail and I jsut hated them, then I got my new coat and a
really femme looking belt in the mail Saturday. The coat is
leather, mid length, boyseberry (kind of purple) , size 18,
and it fits well - I got it for the shoulder size and might have
been able to go size 16, but the shoulder/biceps would have
been tight and it's a coat - I'm hoping to wear dresses that
are a little "flouncy" on top and I have to put the coat over it.
-it really adds to my confidence walking around in public
wearing a womans coat instead of an androgynous coat.
I tried on the new black dress with the gold trim, and partly
it was so baggy that  adding the belt really helped a lot and
I decided I liked it now, and so I went out in the black dress
and the 4" pumps, and for the first time I decided to go ahead
and wear a bra (44C) and stuff it.   It does add to one's curves,
even if they aren't my natural breasts. 

So I went out to a St Paul bar and the regular singer/piano player
was back. Locally she's well known and a superb musician.
Before her set I asked if I could get up and play a song with
her.  So when my time came I played on a couple songs,
and it's a blast - there's a big mirror behind me so a couple
times I glanced back, and thought I looked really pretty,
and she wants me to come back and jam with her again
and of course I will and totally look forward to that - I just
love getting dressed up and playing like that - but the actual
performance was good, but not as good as a couple weeks
ago, and so I'm listening to her style and trying to make some
adjustments to my approach, and she's going to come back with
some more "blues" blues songs that will fit my style and skills
better -so in a couple weeks (I can't go out next Sat -family stuff)
we should be able to play something that is really good and I'm
looking forward to that a lot.  After that I listened to her set
and was chatting with someone about shoes, then at the break
I went to the main part of the bar, watched the drag show for
a bit and decided to head over to the Gay90's, I stepped outside
and it was cold and I realized I'd forgotten my coat, so I went
back and got it and then drove over to Minneapolis.  I checked
my coat, and went up stairs to watch the drag show.  I hadn't
been there long at all when a guy sat at the next table and started
talking to me, and then moved over and sat with me, it was really
loud so there wasn't much conversation really but we tried to talk
a bit when he put his hand on mine, and that felt really nice, so
we held hands a bit and tried to tslk a bit, and he put his hand
on my knees and stuff and it was all kind of fun so he asked
if he could kiss me, and of course I said no we just met and
all that, but after a very short time, I thought why not, I mean
I haven't kissed a guy since coming out in January, and nobody's
been remotely interested in my, so why not -so we kissed
he was trying to move agressively, so it wasn't a romantic kiss
like I wanted, but it was a kiss -it counts. holding hands was
a lot more fun and we went back to that.  A little bit later he
asked to kiss me again and so why not.  So we held hands and
he carressed me a bit in appropriate ways, and it was really
pleasant but he was looking for someone to spend the night
with and that wasn't going to happen, so finally he moved on.
I bumped into him a couple times during the night and he
was obviously interested in me, but just as a one-night stand
and I'm not like that so anyways the nights going on I sit down
at a table alone and a guy comes over, and he seems pleasant
and I'm starting to feel a little tipsy so we're talking and
somehow it seems like a good idea that I get up and let him
have the one chair, and then I turn around - so that I'm standing
my back to him, he's got his hands around my waist, and he's
caraeesing my back and hips and pressing himself against me
a bit and stuff and it was all kind of really pleasant (OK I
was pretty drunk by this point, I'll admit it). Now it really
wasn't like as bad as it sounds, he wasn't grinding off me
or anything he just, well he had an erection and so he had
his hands on my hips and occoasionaly he'd press himself
against me a bit, -really it's not what it sounds like -it was
pretty harmelss, but we were in a crowded place and I
started becoming self-concious about, well about looking
like a slut basically, and I was the one in the 4" pumps,
I should be the one sitting.  So I sat down and he was
talking to me when a girl-girl in a cute bunny outfit walks
over he starts talking to her a little, goes back to talking
to me goes back to talking to her, keeps talking to her,
keeps talking to her, and I decide I need to use the restroom
(the boys room -yuck!) I bumped into him again later,
I was pleasant but just not interested by that point.
So I bumped into the other guy as I was preparing to leave
and again I was calling it a night. 

Sunday I went to church.  I needed some pantyhose
and I decided thatr I was going to go into the Wallamart
dressed up. So I put on a pair of boys pants over my girdle,
put on my boots, a nice blouse, and my new coat, got my
wig and stuff on and walked into the store and confidently
walked over to the section picked out a couple pairs
of panty hose ($4 each) and walked over to the self checkout
paid for them and walked out - no big deal! I was
really proud of myself for this and it was like momentous
to me and when I tried to tell this story to a couple
of girls neither seemed terribly interested - because it
really is no big deal -honestly - it just isn't
(I am so new to all this -but it just is a total non-event
you walk in, buy what you need, pay for it walk out -
actaully it's every bit as boring as if you're a guy
walking in buying soemthing). So I went to church
and the sermon was excellent, and going en femme
really maked the whole thing very inspiring and
very real somehow -it is a lot more religous and
inspirational and everything. I really look forward
to service these days.  After service I went to a membership
class and that was really good -sitting down in
a room talking to people getting comfortable with
presenting myself as a trans person in a normal
social setting is vital and joining the church is
important to me - and it gives me a reason to go
shopping for a gown ( I did say that it was important
to me to wear a dress when I got up - everybody
all ready knew this, but I just wanted to make sure,
because it is important to be accepted into the church
as a trans person). After that I did my volunteer maintenance
thing, went out and took a long walk, then changed into
my costume for a cross-dressers club dinner at a local
resteraunt.  There were several girls sitting around the table,
all in costume and it was fun sitting down for a meal like
that -this has all gotten so comfortable so fast that I'm
now remembering the meal and the consversations
more than the whole "dressing up and going out" thing
which is super fun - but it's no big deal now - but it is
really really nice to be able to meet up with people
you have things in common with when you go out -
I think I'm starting to really enjoy that part of being
a trans-person more than anything - just knowing that
I'm meeting with people that I have so much in common
with, and just that while it's not common being like this
there are a lot of people like me, and I'm really lucky
to be in an extremely tolerant city - Minneapolis is
just a wonderful place to come out as trans -it is literally
the best city in America for people like me I'm finding
out, and the whole thing's been kind of amazing so far.

Anyways 'll be a boy all day Halloween (Monday) I got stuff to do
and this is kind of funny -I'm returning my halloween costume
tonight (Halloween) - so yeh in the end I'm not even going to
wear a costume or dress up or anything on Halloween.
Well maybe next year.