Transformative Honeymoons

I have no idea how to write this one

I rented my halloween costume yesterday,
it's Elizabethian, green and black with a green
hat -the fabrics are really pretty - a very shiny
green front and trim and it's tough to describe,
I'll take a picture, but the fabric is really pretty,
so I'm all set for a dinner out with the cross dressing
club, out in public, in costume, it'll be fun -it was
about $70.00 and I have the costume all weekend
so I'll go to the Gay90's costume party too probably,
I pick it up Friday, but I've all ready tried it on.

yesterday I went out the St Paul gay bar again and
like last weekend I sat in with Rachel, the singer for a song
on my harmonica.  It was a good blues song and a number
of people complimented me.  The crowd was pretty
obviously suprised - not really expecting the drag queen
to actually be really talented - but it's just so much
fun playing with her - she's got a wonderful voice, and
she's lovely and I looked forward to it all week, and
it was fun - I listened to their set for about an hour and
half or so, and they got off to a late start because of
the competion in the main bar so it was kind of late
when I left there and headed over to the Gay90's for
the drag show there.  Normally I catch the start of the show
and leave early, and this time I was catching the closing time
activities, which can be a little creepy (the Gay90's is not
really a gay bar despite the name it's a "downtown bar"
though, but gay people looking for a truly gay bar
would probably go down the street to another bar -
similarily the St Paul gay bar isn't entilrely a gay bar
either - I'm guessing that's probably pretty common for
places that are open to cross dressers (who typically
aren't gay) and admirers of cross dressers who are
probably almost always straight or bi, and
women on girls night out or barchorette parties who
are just about all straight, and very silly and just
want to see guys dressing up
anyways - it was a good night and I got home
about 3 am, and didn't bother taking my makeup
off or even taking off my skirt, -I was wiped out
and laid down and bam! it's morning.

Sunday morning and I'd previously decided I was
going to attend my church in a skirt. So I got all dolled
up again , and it was still early so I went to a park
near the church and walked around for an hour
or so, which should be no big deal and it wasn't
(but I was in a skirt and boots, and walked
past a number of people, who really didn't
seem to care a whole lot, even if there were
some smirks).  
then I went over to the church and it was still
early so did my volunteer maintenance thing,
and bumped into a couple people I recognized
so I said hi of course, and a trans lady I've met
once before let me sit with her,which was really
nice because as the service was getting ready
to start, it started to dawn on me just how
big a deal this was - not that I was going to back
out or anything I've known I would have to do this
at some point, and this was a good time, but
yeh, here I was going to church in a skirt, and
when the pastor talks about "what is God telling
you to do", every time he say's that, this is what
I think of, this is what God wants me to do-to face
this, so there I was in a skirt, in a church, feeling
a little funny about the whole thing now that I was
actually doing it for real.

but everyone was really nice and friendly, and the service
was amazing -the guest was Randy Roberts Potts,the
gay grandson of televangelist Oral Roberts,but he didn't
give the talk about Oral Roberts or anything like that
he talked about his own experiences growing up gay
and religious, and talked about being accepted and
really brought home how important gay churches
are, and for me,being in a skirt and all sitting next
to one of the few other trans people in a church
packed with gay people, it really did seem like this
type of thing is vital,so it was very inspiring,

I've been meeting a lot of trans people the last couple
weeks, but it is such a tiny part of even the LGBT
community , that to be accepted in a community
as trans,is very liberating. At the trans health conference
I attended a couple weeks ago, the estimate was
1 in 12000 males are trans, which is a minority even in
a room full of gay people.

So after a really excellent guest presentation, communion
was given, and this is the part I was nervous about -just
the ritual of it all and getting up in front of so many people
and standing there at the alter taking communion
recieving a blessing in a skirt, as a trans person,
there's really no way to hide it really  -you're not
taking communion in a skirt because you're a cross
dresser, or at least I wasn't and that's kind of
intimidating the first time.

So I got the blessing, and the deacon asked
to bless me (this woman) . Being accepted
and blessed as a woman felt a little odd and new
and funny, and I'm not sure I should have received
a blessing as a woman, but I am sort of, and have
allways been and she was accepting me in a way
as I feel God is accepting me as someone becoming
a woman -so it's not wrong, but it seemed odd, and new,
It was nice but it felt funny, kind of like saying my
name is Stacy, it takes a little getting used to...

After service I stayed around the church for quite
a while and ended up talking to a guy for awhile and
stuff, but finally I left and started home -got some gas
went thru the McDonalds drive thru then headed over
to "the Peace Garden" then walked around the lake
for an hour or so,.  ir was nice a few people looked
at me kind of funny and I tried to picture how silly
I must look, walking around like that,
but it was fun - then I went home and took off the
skirt and makeup and all and now I'm just
lounging around in my boy clothes ready
to start another week as a man.