So last Saturday was my first time out in public, Friday was my second,
and last night was my third. I think my initial idea of dressing up once
a month to go to the monthly cross dressing club meeting isn't going to work
(heheheheh!) That's OK a couple weekend nights should be pretty manageable.
Last night started with an event held at my "radically inclusive" church by some
folks associated with Tyson, which is a trans youth group, and they were fund
raising for CeCe McDonald - I found out about the event by accident, and
only because at the last moment they had to change venue, and as I was telling
on of the ladies in my church, for me it was an excuse to go out in a skirt,
have a Taco dinner and socialize. Which I did, but so this is what I learned
about Chrishaun "CeCe" McDonald - she's a young African-American trans
person who was in a group of women and was attacked by a man and another
group of women after being verbally insulted. In this fight CeCe was cut-up
pretty seriously by a woman wielding a broken bottle, and the man, Dean Schmitz
was fatally stabbed. CeCe was charged with the murder, and was held in
solitary "for her own safety" - which is coded bureacratic talk - for saying America's
prison systems are so totally fucked up that the only way it can keep some of it's
prisoners alive is by subjecting them to conditions of "cruel and unusual punishment"
but I digress, CeCe was able to find a bondsman who knew she was a reliable person
who wouldn't flee, so she put up the 10% of a $75,000 bond and was out on bond,
and some people took up the cause to raise funds for her defense. Not knowing
whether she is really innocent or not, I'm perfectly comfortable supporting her
getting a fair trial, but honestly - I don't think she'll get one, because she is an
African American trans person, and I think her incarcation, if that is the result
will be inhumane, so I pray I'm wrong.
Anyways, I enjoyed the dinner and talking to some of the girls who are very
young, and very self-assured and at that age I was a closeted train-wreck, so I
was kind of envious of the life they had before them compared to the life I've
lived, but eh what can you do..
I've volunteered at the church to perform a maintenance function that requires me
going to the church a couple times a week and so since I was all ready there, I went
down in the basement to do my thing, and trust me - there's a reason why maintenance
people don't wear black leather skirts and blouses and wigs and 4" heels when they're
doing there thing - I felt really, really silly, but it was kind of kinky somehow, but gosh,
how impractical. Then I went back to the event.
There was aome entertainment after dinner and I was chatting with one of the ladies
from my church a bit about a trans ministry the church was starting (suicide rates for
trans people remain extremely high, but people who can "face their demons" and
accept themselves seem to lead a life that is basically OK, I mean this lady seemed
comfortable in her own skin and bright and funny, so she got through it but you have to
have places where the kids can go when they need help and these places are really rare,
and having lived through some of this, I'm probably going to volunteer in some way for this,
as I start coming out about who I am -but I've been out publicly three times now, so
I'm not really an expert on being a trans person, by a long shot - I notice when I talk
to other people that I'm honestly unsure what kind of trans person I am, but obviously
I really am trans, saying I'm not trans is denying the obvious, and I'll never do
that again)
Anyways I decided to head on out and as I'm walking to my truck I'm thinking it's a lovely
night and I really don't want to go home just yet, so I start walking and take a walk around
the block, and I kind of enjoy the sense of freedom of just walking along in my skirt, and
looking down at my heels and all. It's really nice, even if my feet hurt by the time I got
back around to my truck.
And I still don't want to go home, so I decided to drive over to the St Paul Gay bar,
and I get there and park in the parking lot and walk in have a beer, etc. In the piano
lounge are a couple ladies (women not CD's) one on piano and one singing, the
lady vocalist had a wonderful voice, so eventually I asked to sit on a song,
we did "Stormy Monday", in the key of G, with me on harmonica, and I did
a really nice instrumental solo - I was glancing over at her, watching her smile in my solo,
and that's really fun when a talented singer is enjoying what you're playing.
So eventuially around midnight I went home so let's see from 6 to 12 -that's 6 hours,
that is my new record for the longest time I have been out in public in drag, and it
was fun. I'm sure next weekend I'll be getting dressed up again, but Sunday I'll
be in boy mode today, which is OK too.
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