my self some electrolysis after work - so it'll
be the first session. I haven't shaved since Sunday
morning, so my face feels like sandpaper, but I'm
hoping it's grown long enough to work in the better
part of three days. Otherwise long day at work
(12 hrs) straight to band practice for a few hours,
straight home, straight to bed, so hopefully I'm done
in 8 to 10 hours today otherwise I'll just driving over
there when the appointment time comes then going
back to work afterwards which will make for a late
night and a long day - I'm at that point in the employment
cycle where the employer keeps telling you one more day
then it'll go back to normal, one more day....
I know what's happening, but I'm learning that as a trans
person, even in boy mode, you really just have to manage
your stress and your exhaustion and frustrations and smile
and get through stuff - it is what it is - there's three choices-
going back to being a boy full-time (and literally I can't imagine
that -it'd be like a living death) killing yourself (which let's be
honest is always going to be out there as the third choice -it
sucks but it's true) and trying to find some way to make this whole
trans thing work and so I'm trying to make it work and find what
ever happiness I can like this - So, Happy Birthday Stacy!
(I'm really not unhappy, so far the trans thing has been wonderful,
but it is really scary trying to see what my future is like this -I can't
imagine, so you close your eyes and drive down the street the wrong
way and hope for the best)
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