Transformative Honeymoons

So yeh, I'm getting out of the whole depression, hopelessness cycle I've been in.

Spring is coming, I'm graduating again in a little over a month, so I'm looking

for a job now - and still doing well in school.  One thing that is helping

me is going to church -like I said, I'm going to one of the Gayest

churches around (it is literally a church for LGBT and A

people) but it's a good church - as a musician, I

wish the music was a little bit more polished,

but then I've played festivals and made

Music a huge part of my life and

it is asking a lot to expect

the same from anyone

except for

me

I think I've pretty much recovered from Gender Therapy, and I'm starting to

realize that maybe I was being a little bit unfair in my assessment of

Gender Therapy and my Gender Therapist - maybe, maybe not

I honestly don't know - she was certainly the wrong therapist for me,

and that was one of the reasons for the anxiety attacks I was having.

 So I took the SAGE test on-line before and

after Gender Therapy and this is pretty funny

I only went to 4 sessions, was diagnosed as

a cross-dresser, and am actually living and

functioning full-time as a man so this is

what Gender Therapy can do for you:

Before 4 sessions of Gender Therapy

After 4 sessions of Gender Therapy

(in which both I and the Gender Therapist

agree I am feeling and acting pretty masculine

and am obviously not really a candidate for SRS:)

                                              I do think it's funny that the score gets worse the

more I think I am acting in a natural and masculine

way, oh well, as long as I ignore silly on-line

tests, I'm actually doing OK now

PS - I decided not to write an objection to

the Deptartment of Education - I'm going to let

them garnish my wages - at $18.00/week from

my minimum wage -part-time job.

I'll leave it in the hands of God to judge

sometimes that all you can do.

On Match.com, a guy sent me a wink, he seemed nice,

so I emailed him and said I was going to the circus

next weekend,

all by myself,

well, we'll see

I'm thinking of going out tonight after work to the Drag show at the Gay 90's

but money's really tight right now, and I'm working Saturday night too

(yeh, I really need the money) so I might go, I might not.

UPDATE:: so I did go straight from work ( I work at one of those

office supply stores, I'll just call "Office Store" -there are like

three or four similar sounding companies, so I'm not

identifying which one, anyways I get there and sit at a table

by myself, drinking a beer, and the Hostess is working the

crowd, joking with the ladies who are getting married, flirting

with the cute guys, making up jokes as she goes

along, and it's all pretty funny, and the spotlight is following her

as she works the crowd, and for some reason, tonight she stops

at my table, and goes "Hi! How are you doing" "I'm fine.... [a little

idle banter], then....she asks "What Does the shirt say (looks at

shirt) Oh! Office Store! Thanks for dressing up! [crowd laughs,

I laugh, even though I'm embarrasssed, she moves along to

a group of girls, one of whom is getting married,

and I'm blushing in the shadows,

but honestly, I'm flattered (and embarrassed) -it's all in fun

[but yes, you can be sure next time I will be sure to bring a shirt

to change into]

and another rerun:

and of course the morning update - vocal practice: