stuff for my first time out in public as a woman. I'm really very excited
about this now. I'll be going to a cross-dressing/cross-gender club meeting
in a couple weeks, which is held in a gay bar, so the people are very welcoming
to people like me (I mean basically they are people like me). I went to
one meeting as a boy and felt the girls were nice, and that this was a very safe
space for me to go out in public en femme.
Emotionally, there's a lot of issues and hidden stuff, and emotional baggage,
and vulnerabilities, and whatever tied up in this, so I really want to try
and make this as positive an experience as possible, and probably can't
do too much about being terrified walking in the door and hating the way I
look, but I can still smile and try to have a good time anyways.
I got my paycheck Friday, and I finally had enough surplus
that I have enough money to make it through two weeks with a little
to spare for the second time in a month,
so I've all ready recieved the makeup I'm going to wear,
and tried it on, and I actually liked the way it looked.
I went on Taaz.com with a picture of myself and spent
many,many hours trying out makeup on my face to get
the best result I could, then went ahead and ordered
the products through the Taaz link. I received it in a few
days, you can limit the products by price, which I did
(to under $10 per item) and like I said I was pretty
pleased that I could order all the makeup at one time
with a specific result in mind and get everything at once.
The downside is that I did need to make so changes
and I forgot some stuff. So I ordered some more
makeup last night too-
The lipstick was too light pink, and I ordered a slightly
redder shade, I forgot the eye liner, I totally forgot nail polish
(oops!) , the mascara was difficult to use so I ordered a
little more expensive, highly rated brand (I really love
mascara - I have very long lashes, but they're reddish-blond
so they're not obvious) eyebrow pencils, a brush for the foundation
(I used a paint brush the first time -which does work, but not
very girly) so now I should be set for make up.
I've allready recieved the undergarments (girdle, bra, pantyhose)
so yesterday I ordered a black leather pencil skirt, which is
very cute. Because I'm size 18 below, size 20 above right now,
I'm very limited in what is available that is fashionable, but this
skirt is very cute and I hope it looks good on me.
I ordered a grey, white, and black blouse with a strong
slimming pattern, but the pattern is interesting and grey is a
very good color for me, it's pretty, and I think it should look good
as long as the sleeves for the forearms aren't too small.
I ordered black 4" heels, very simple but nice - size 12W
(kind of funny I wear size 12 guy shoes, but I wanted to see
how small a shoe I could wear - so I put on size 10 and it
fit -I've been wearing shoes that are 2 sizes too big (back when
I was 270# my feet were very swollen, but I never thought
my shoe size had changed) anyways a guys size 10 shoe
is a womans size12 and wide is better -they'll probably
be snug, but they should fit, I won't be walking that far.
I ordered a nice purse, I like purses, they seem very
feminine and I really dont want to carry my wallet in
my hand so a purse is pretty important.
Oh yeh the wig - well I'll save that for the photo but
again I went with the large cap size, which really restricts
your options, but I may be able to wear an average cap
(my head is only a 1/2" too big). Not being sure I
only spent $70 on the wig, it's nice, but I really want a
superb wig, but I have to know more before I shell out
$500+ for one.
So other than a necklace, and maybe a couple slips and
maybe some clip on earings, I should be set.
I have a therapist who is supportive of this stuff,
(and is probably a bit confused why I can't find some guy who
wants to, well you know, do what guys do to girls, but I'm a bit
confused about why I can't meet guys too)
so I'm going to tell her that I'm planning on going out en femme
in a couple weeks, but I'm sure she'll encourage it the way
I'm going about it. It'll be nice to get a second opinion
that I'm not completely nuts,
but right now, it looks like I'm actually going to do this.
finally, yeah!!!!!
The top captions are ones I did before, I haven't really been
doing captions or reading captions, but I realize most people
want this to be a caption blog, and I'm trying to be obliging
to your desires.
Update - so like I said for the first time in about a year really, I actually
have enough money coming in to make it through to the next payday
with something left over (yeah!) so in addition to spending it on
girly stuff, I went to my "radically inclusive" church, and put
a check in for $50.00, which is a once-in-a-lifetime thing, but then
so is having the chance to present myself as myself in public, and
I wanted to acknowledge thanks for that in a personal and spiritual way.
Below is some D+X stuff
a sequence where my character wore 5 balloons which were
popped, each balloon containing a task:
I won't be posting until I go out en femme, and I've been very busy with work and all,
so it may be several weeks here when I post next.
Hopefully there's something here you find interesting, until then
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